The Self

When we are born we are born with certain intincts, reflexes, and genes of parents and their parents and so on. It is the genes that determine the colour of our hair, whether we will be tall or short, etc. The genes also determine our personality and temperament to a certain extent. If you visit a maternity ward filled with babies you will notice that some are quiet and placid babies while others are screaming their heads off demanding attention even though their tummies are full and nappies dry. As you grow the foundations of your personality that are present at birth develops further and is then influenced by the environment and the people in it, as well as genes.

Now as far as our genes are concerned there is little we can do about them (unless you opt for plastic surgery) but to accept them. Let's say for example you are short and you don't like to be short because you believe that taller people are happier people and have more opportunities and advantages in life. (This is your opinion/belief and is not necessarily true.) However there is absolutely nothing you can do to become tall so you have the choice to either accept yourself and make the best of life or reject yourself and lead a less happy life. By not accepting yourself you are resisting the fact that you are short. When you accept yourself (and I am not saying you have to be happy to be short) you release the resistance and you are opening yourself up to experiencing happiness instead of discontentment.



Some definitions and ideas to be aware of...

The Self - when we refer to my-"self", her-"self", him-"self" etc we are not referring to our bodies and neither to our minds. There is something more to it. Just think about it for a moment. What is the "SELF"
I feel that the self is the essence of our being. It is who we ARE. Often referred to as our soul. The part of you which feels the pain of being rejected or of losing someone. The part of you which feels emotions.

Self Concept - is the image that we have of ourselves. Whether we feel we are good or bad, pretty or ugly etc. It is the answers you give when asked to describe yourself.

Self Esteem- Self-esteem refers to how we value ourselves and what we feel we are worth.
(high self-esteem/self-worth = someone who is happy with their self-concept. Low self-esteem = someone who is unhappy with their self-concept and views themselves in a negative way)